It was 30 years ago today...

Where were you on May 25, 1977?

It's hard to believe that it's the 30th anniversary of the release of the original "Star Wars". Back in the day before CGI, before DVD, before Padawans and midichlorians and a misguided kid named Anakin, before there was even an "Episode IV: A New Hope" subtitle stuck at the beginning, there was simply "Star Wars".

I remember seeing it a short time after the film's release in that summer of 1977. My parents took me, an eager wide-eyed 10-year-old, to the old Deville Cinema (the last of the great single-screen theaters in Jackson, MS) to see it some time after it came out. Granted, I didn't see it on opening day, but we eventually went to see it. For some reason all I remember was falling asleep during the film. The next time I saw it, it was part of Rob Summerlin's 11th birthday.

For so many people my age, that was the iconic film of the 1970's. Granted, it was one of the iconic films of my youth, but not the iconic film - that honor wouldn't fall until a year and a half later with the release of the first "Superman" film at the end of 1978.

So much has happened since then... war, death, love, growing up, moving off, marriage, becoming a dad... and through it all "Star Wars" has remained with us. I always thought of myself in those days being like Luke, the idealistic kid looking for something bigger than what and where he was. And wouldn't you know it... for the Luke in me, there was a Leia... Kelly Catt, who looked a whole lot like Carrie Fisher, the resemblance was at the time uncanny.

Of course, that was 30 years ago. And I had to grow up and put away a lot of childish things, including, of course, "Star Wars". But while a lot of people my age remember where they were 30 years ago when the film first came out - even Kevin Max of DCTalk mentioning his first taste of musical inspiration with the original "Star Wars" double album - for some reason lately I've been thinking about Kelly and what might have... could have... should have been, but wasn't meant to be.

For that brief time I found myself wanting to be that hero, saving the day, falling in love with a beautiful girl, making a difference. Just like Luke Skywalker.

It's funny how life can be cruel sometimes, you know? But then again, had everything gone as I had hoped, my life would have been most definitely different.

I should have gone to see Kelly when she was in the hospital, lying there with a broken leg, to wish her a speedy recovery, but like a damn fool I couldn't. I was forbidden to. I should have. And I should have gone to see her in later years when she got sick, but I didn't.

Is it wrong to say that you miss someone close from your youth, who meant a lot to you? Even though you're married to a woman you love, could you miss someone that you loved from way back then? Granted, I don't want to sound like a Jay Gatsby here, looking to recapture and win the one true lost love of my life at the expense of my own soul, but sometimes you just need to get things off your chest and get rid of that regret once and for all, you know?

Sorry if this seems much more personal and sentimental, but sometimes you just gotta share what's on your heart. And that's what this day, this film in particular, reminds me of.

Kelly, if you somehow get a chance to read this, please e-mail me and let me know how you're doing. I'd really enjoy hearing from you.